Remembering "Why" I'm a Mother

Sometimes I forget why I did what I did.  I forget that I had kids to bring me joy and meaning to life.  I forget that it was a decision that I made to bless my life.  And finally, I forget to enjoy what I've created!  Here are these precious little spirits in my home (some getting bigger than others) and they are here every day.  A little part of me and a little part of my sweetheart, truly, some of my most favorite people in the world! They are right under my nose and willing to be engaged with from the moment they wake up in the morning until the moment they fall asleep at night.  But, I forget sometimes why I wanted to engage with them at all!  There are several traps I fall in to.  1) The "you're bothering me" trap.  This one is for those days or times when our dearly beloveds just seem a bother.  I have an agenda and important things to do and you're needs just have to wait (or on bad days aren't important all together!)  These are the moments you snap curtly, "go do something else" or "quit bothering me!" or even "here, just play a game on the ipad".  2) the "don't have needs" trap.  It's almost a plea with the universe sometimes.  "Please let them not need me..." But, they do.  They're tired or hungry or stinky or just need attention.  And you are it! 3) Auto-pilot trap.   This one is sneaky cause it's basically, do nothing and nothing will happen.  Right.  Nothing.  Plug them in.  Let them eat cheetos and Trix for breakfast.  Or just never teach, comfort or guide.  It's a trap because nothing isn't "Why" we had kids at all! 4) The "Tune-out" trap.  It's like the jets that fly over my house every day.  I don't hear them anymore.  My kids fall in to the same trap sometimes.  I don't hear them anymore either.  Sad.  5) The control trap.  This one is the most prevalent for me.  Somehow I feel I need to control most things.  It isn't a democracy, it's a dictatorship.  But, really, I don't want to control everything and I do want my kids to learn choice and accountability.  Sometimes they will experiment with something and sometimes they'll like it and sometimes they'll hate it and change to something else.  It doesn't make them quitters.  It makes them independent thinkers!   I suppose there are more traps, but you get the gist.  I had kids because I wanted to delight in my creations and have a full life of engagement and challenges (yes, you heard me) and growth.  I want to recommit every time I notice a trap of my "why" I did what I did.  I want to remember that it was a deliberate choice and it isn't going to be perfect or always even pleasant.  But, when I laugh with my kids, watch them learn something new, or just engage with the world and life and learn, or even when they come to me for comfort because the world took a bite out, I have joy and there is meaning to my life. So, take a minute today to relish in your "why" and delight in your creations. Do it every day.  We're raising some of the best people in the world!  And that is an every-day-matter!!!!